Welcome back to online womens bible study as we discuss week seven of Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. We’re looking at some controversial topics in this bible study and this week we examined biblical truths about having children.
(image: Unsplash)
Some of you may have skipped over this chapter because you do not have children. I encourage you to go back and read this chapter for three reasons:
- God may place you in a position to minister to someone who has children or is planning on having children
- God may place children in your life who need mentoring, such as nieces and nephews, or children of coworkers and friends
- God may place you in a ministry role where you are working with children
There is no good reason for you to miss reading this chapter! Please remember as Nancy teaches on these controversial issues, she is reflecting her understanding of Scripture. You are not required to agree with her, however it would benefit you to search Scripture and find your own answers for anything you disagree with.
This week we looked at five lies:
- The lie that children are a burden
- The lie that children need exposure to culture
- The lie that children must go through a rebellious stage
- The lie that children are believers because of actions at an early age
- The lie that parents are/ or are not responsible for their kids actions
Were you amazed when Nancy said it’s a lie to expect rebellion from our children? I can recall a few Bible stories about rebellious children, yet Nancy wants us to see the good in our teen children and not anticipate or tolerate the worst in them. As Christian parents it’s imperative that we monitor our children’s activities and maintain open communication with them. By spending time in their activities we’re able to influence them in some of the decisions they make. Many times we discover our children are trying to help their friends solve a problem and we need to be a voice of knowledge for them.
Finally, Nancy discusses the lie that we’re not responsible or overly responsible for our children.
Often I remind myself that my daughters belong to God, not to me. I’m their caretaker and a leader as I teach them to live according to Scripture and to love Jesus. Ultimately they are responsible for their own actions. I pray constantly that their hearts and minds are centered on God. -Christine Abraham
Auhtor Carol Kent writes about her personal experience When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances
as she discusses keeping her faith after her son murdered a man. This book is powerful!
For Next Week
- Pray for the women who are doing this study with you.
- Read Chapter Eight in your book and companion guide.
- Look at the list of Key Resources on page 269 for topics addressed in this book
- Check in with your Small Group Leader
Have a great week…share what you are learning with others as you grow in truth!
God is good…always!
CHRISTINE ABRAHAM is a Writer Redeemed by Christ. Lifetime Bible Reader. Coffee Drinker. Beach Walker. Mother of Girls. Bible Teacher. Founder at Bible Café™ Ministries.
2. My adult children amaze me daily. I’m still learning from them.
I have 4 children (all girls— 19, 17,10, and 4) and God made them ALL different… very different. My last child was my hardest and I had already said “I am done” but God had another plan. This is my IUD child so she was against the odds. She has given me joy but it was not at first. It took a lot of searching and realizing that I was going to be 59 when she is 20… oooocchhhh I guess what I am trying to say is that children are a blessing, but it is a lot of hard work and we will be rewarded for our children. When much is given much is deserved.
Our 7 children are teen thru adult and they are better than any comedy show!! Through some of them we have been blessed with amazing grand children…..just when you think you couldn’t love more 🙂
Children (and grandchildren) truly are a wonderful GIFT from God.
i do not have children of my own, but I do have nieces and nephews. My closest niece and nephew have always felt like my own, and when issues have caused them to become distant from me, it has hurt deeply. I can only let God work in their lives and pray that they will someday remember their Aunt.
The world’s view of children and their worth saddens me greatly. My children are truly a blessing to me! I believe all children are a blessing. As one of my college professors once told me, “children aren’t just our future, but we are theirs.” Every child deserves to know that they are unconditionally loved and that they are one of God’s children.
Children are precious gifts from God. It saddens me to see how the world views children. They are not burdens, but rather little packages of love!
We have one boy & one girl that are on earth with us and two children awaiting us in heaven. All have given me great joy and huge moments of grief, but the joy outweighs the grief. Now we have two wonderful grandchildren and the love goes on & on!!
This chapter was not easy to read because I have lived the lies of the chapters, and see it being lived out by the young women I work alongside. I cannot change the decisions that we made, turning back the pages of life, but my prayer is that I can at least help my daughter & the younger women the Lord places in my life SEE the lies for what they are and to help them know the truth. And I am praying daily for my prodigal son.
I thinks the worlds view on children, is very distorted compared to God’s view… They are corrupted on every front if we is parents don’t step up. Children are devalued, desensitized, and left to grow up on their own. Conventional wisdom seems to dictate that they will be fine. But without core values, biblical truths and integrity taught and led by example our children will grow up to think primarily about the needs and wants of themselves.
I have two adult children and wish I had not decided to stop at two. I love having been able to stay home with my kids ( I did have a day care program in my home which made this possible). I enjoy that now I can enjoy an adult relationship with my children. They have always been one of my greatest blessing. Thank you Lord!
1.How is the world’s view of children different than God’s view? Lots of my coworkers my age with young children (I have a 3 year old) go to the gym after work, take vacations away from their kids, and just do things that demonstrate the kids are not high on their list of priorities. It is sad.
3.What did you like or dislike about chapter seven? I liked the very end of chapter 7 about the importance of praying for our kids. Of course I pray for my son daily but not to the extent that I want to after reading this chapter.
My children are my biggest blessing in my life. At 4 and 6 years old, they are so joyful, full of energy, and God uses them so many times to remind me of how God can work through children, show them the Truth in a way they understand and share with their parents.
I liked Chapter 7 with some of the reminders as a parent: that God gave me the role to shepherd my kids here on earth and that i will be accountable to Him when i am in heaven on how i raised my children.
Specific actions i need to take are to read the bible with my kids, teach them to memorize scripture, sing Hymns together, change my actions that are not godly.
If you have children, share why they are a blessing to you.
I love both of my adult children and they are prodigals so I am praying for them every day for salvation. I had mixed feelings when I read this chapter because my husband and I didn’t have our children as babies but adopted them from foreign country when they were older. I realize now that if you have them when they are young you could bring them up in the ways of the Lord a lot better because you are saturating them with God’s word and being an example to them at a young age. It was very hard and painful because we were dealing with a lot of major issues regarding their past life. We did our best under God’s direction and I know that the Lord had us bring them over to this country for a better life.
Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson. Parents who assume their children know the Lord, regardless of their lifestyle, may give their children a false sense of security and may not be praying appropirately for their children.
I would like to say a little about myself and the lie that it’s up to us to determine the size of our family. I have three sons born in the early 70’s all about a year and a half apart. I believed this lie that the world was saying at that time. I had no Godly counsel, I was very young and thought I was doing the best thing when I had my tubes tied after the birth of my third son. I was wrong. Yes, I would most likely have had a dozen children at the rate I started, and I would have been very happy raising a big family. God is very capable of taking care of large families as He is small families. I don’t know what we are thinking! I do regret making that decision so many years ago, but I made it in ignorance and I don’t beat myself up over it. But it does make me sad. Yes, children are a blessing from God and childbearing is a basic God-given role for women.
My children are a blessing to me because they bring joy among the daily busyness of life. My life would be very different without them. They have caused me to become much more humble as I think of the role my husband and I need to play in nurturing them and guiding them in the ways of the Lord.
The world’s view is different because of the way they treat children as disposable before even born. It saddens me to think of the many babies aborted each day.
Things I liked about the lesson— the reminder and strong urging to constantly pray for our children. I pray for my children’s future mates. I know that God will honor my prayers!
Things I didn’t like about the lesson– When Nancy discussed how many children to have, it amazed me. I remember when I first heard women talking about this. When I first became married, I never thought about just letting God lead this part of my life. My husband was in grad school and we felt that birth control was the way to keep us from having children. It never occurred to me to just let God control this part of our lives. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I did? Was I wrong in not thinking about this in this way? I know several women who feel that “the womb is an open place”. They now have VERY large families.She mentioned 4 children, but these families have 9, 10 children. I don’t know if I am physically capable of handling a very large family. I know my strengths and many weaknesses. I also had to stop having children because of severe varicosities. The doctor recommended that we stop. Shouldn’t the heath of a mother be of some consideration when considering more children?
I have had many questions about this topic over the years. Despite these questions, I am thankful to God for giving me my children and pray that we will have many happy years together.
1. How is the world’s view of children different than God’s view?
I think that nowadays, many people see children as a burden, a bad investment (when talking about money), and an obstacle to achieving personal goals. Many women nowadays decide early in their lives not to have children and instead, pursue higher positions in their professions. Those who do have children, have little patience with them and don’t understand the role that God has assigned them as parents. I have to admit that I am learning everyday to be a better mother. I work full time and many times by the time I get home, I am exhausted and have little energy to take care of my babies (11months and 3 yrs). Many times I find myself entertaining my kids with tv, computer games, or toys to distract them while I get some rest. That attitude is completely wrong though. It is our responsibility to take care of our kids and to spend quantity and quality time with them. God trusted us with our children and we are responsible or their upbringing. Children are valuable to God and we have a big job in front of us: to lead them in God’s Word. Praying for our children is one of the things that many parents do not do nowadays. We do emergency prayers after our kids get in trouble but we do not do anything to prevent the problems.
2. If you have children, share why they are a blessing to you.
My kids are a blessing to me because they teach me to be selfless. They fill me with love, unconditional love. Their big smiles make my day. I think I am learning to be a better person because of them. I am able to practice what my parents did for me with my children. It feels amazing to pay it forward.
3. What did you like or dislike about chapter seven?
I don’t know how to feel about the fact that the author says we should have as many children as God allows us to have. In the world we live today, I don’t know if I could afford and take good care of all the kids God would give me. I know that personally, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I only have two kids and my husband and I do take care of ourselves not to have anymore.
This chapter was a real eye opener. When do we really stop being a mother? Never. I had my son when I was 17. I have looked back so many times and saw from being such a young mother who was not raised in a Christian home and marrying the father (who was not a Christian) is why my son struggles and backslides. I am grateful for my grandmother’s influence in my life but I myself struggled for years with a backslidden lifestyle. But thank God he has taught me and lead me in his ways. Lie #30 – I have gone into so much spiritual warfare for my son. I sometimes believe the lie, Oh he is 28 now, he is responsible for his actions and will have to live with the consequences of his choices…but I should never lay down my sword and stop battling for him. I was given a book called “Prayers that Availeth Much for Mothers” years ago. Many times I pull this book out from my bed side table. This book is set up to pray the scriptures. The SWORD!! I also have a 15 year old step daughter that has only been in my life for 3 years. Her mother is not a Christian, and as a step mother I seem to have no influence in her life lately. I have seen the devil work and weave into what could be a good thing. Surprisingly my son lead my step daughter to the Lord, but this Chapter has also revealed to me that our life styles reveal it. I am much like her, I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 14, however without that foundation and proper teaching at home life has been learned the very hard way. I am so thankful that our Father God does not give up on us and he teaches us His ways. The devil wants to get us in bondage and sometimes its a very deep pit that we have to crawl out of. For those ladies who are Christians and have children…never stop teaching them things, never think that the topic is too uncomfortable, or assume they know the truth. Teach them all that you can…its a very sinful world out there today that they are living in.
1. How is the world’s view of children different than God’s view?
Our culture’s view of children is that of a consumer. Our children are bombarded on a daily basis with pressure to consume the latest toy, fad, food, you name it. Our children have been lied to by our society about their true worth. Our society doesn’t value our children for their optimism, curiosity, or honesty. We use those qualities against them to get them to purchase things of no value.
2. If you have children, share why they are a blessing to you.
My oldest son was used by God to bring me to Him. Shortly after he was born, I went on an academic quest to find the “right” church. I ended up finding a Bible Church that was non-denominational and grounded in the Word of God. We started attending the church, and that experience led me to a group Bible study that was expository in nature. I learned so much about God and His word through those experiences.
Both my children have been used by God to teach me humility and patience in so many ways that the list would fill up a 500-page ream of paper!!
2. My kids are a blessing to me because they bring me so much Joy. I absolutely adore their innocence. I will admit I often struggle with patience. I have a friend who has been struggling with getting pregnant. When I find myself being impatient I remind myself how blessed I am that God gave me not one, but two precious, healthy little girls. I am definitley going to read one of the books suggested about praying for your children.
I’m running behind in these discussions but I will post anyway. It’s a blessing to read everyone else’s posts! My daughter and baby is off to the Air Force in less than 2 weeks and it has been a whirlwind of activities.
I made the decision 22 years ago to leave my career and stay home with my kids. My husband was not happy at the time but I felt so convicted by God that I had to follow. It was the best decision I have ever made and my husband also agrees! Being a mom was /is the most joyous job I ever could have done. I think the lie women also believe when they are young that having a baby is going to “fun”. It is not “fun” most of the time but work, work, work. It calls for sacrifice, daily. I have 3 children; one child who is 22 has Autism. It was challenging and sometimes discouraging and heartbreaking. But the rewards have outweighed all of it. My children have been a joy and I love them more than words could ever describe. I would not hesitate to do it all again.
Maybe I was just fortunate but none of my children were rebellious. They were all three wonderful children and never gave us a day of trouble. Maybe we were just lucky or maybe we just followed God’s direction and actually did something right.
Though Nancy may have irked some who read this chapter., I agreed with everything she said. Some of it was tough to hear, I’m sure, for some moms. But it was scripturally based and she was just telling it like it is.
For you young moms out there, enjoy all of it–even the tough times. It shapes you and it shapes your children.
I am the grateful mother to two beautiful children.
I take issue with the above notation that women who have abortions are sexually promiscuous, or see their children as disposable, My focus as a Christian woman is to love those who are unlovable, and build up those who are down; as Jesus did. At the well, the Samaritan woman was not called a slut, or derided for her sin. She was mentored and lead through the pain of her sin by an understanding, forgiving God who chose to associate with sinners when he could have soared with kings.
Her response? She was so relieved to talk with the Messiah that,”…told me everything I had ever did.”
Until the Christian community decides to love the fallen as much as Christ did/does and help people get back on their feet who have been knocked down (and maybe even knocked down by fellow Christians) we are driving away those who need Christ most.
Proverbs 10:11-12–The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked. Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers all wrongs.
3.What did you like or dislike about chapter seven?
Here’s the thing – I know that I am more liberal than people in this study, people at my church, and some around me. If that means I am a bad Christian – then so be it. I sat next to a woman on a plane not long after I starting attending church. We started talking and she said that church attendance would make me more conservative – my response back – that’s when I stop attending church. Probabley not a popular opinion here, which was a discussion my husband and I had. Do I have to agree with everything in this study or can I pick and choose? What I may find offense someone else will totally agree with. Something that I am okay with – might be totally unacceptable to someone else.
I also don’t believe that “Family planning is the mother of abortion. A generation had to be indoctrinated in the ideal of planning children around personal convenience before abortion could be popular.” How is family planning not a better option than abortion?
I admit that the reasons below that paragraph on page 170 are all things that we have talked about in regards to why we have two kids. I want what is best for my children and my family. For my family 2 kids is the perfect family. Would I like more? Sure, but I also want to provide for the kid’s I do have.
4. Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson.
I might not be able to have kids. I do care about people who have kids. It made realize that god has a purpose in our lives.